


Brotherhood and Attachment

by Nerdlydelicious



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Found Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28461576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdlydelicious/pseuds/Nerdlydelicious
Summary: Tarr Sajad is a newly anointed Jedi Knight who finds himself flung into a war the galaxy never saw coming, leading men who were bred to fight and die for a Republic they don't know. As battles rage across the galaxy and young clone men die for a government they aren't even citizens of, Tarr begins to walk a path that the Jedi Order and all his teachings tell him leads to the Dark Side. But what is truly evil? To form bonds with those who fight and die by your side and under your command, or to pretend that a Republic and Jedi Order that both claim to stand for peace and equality but use an army of slaves to do its fighting deserves to exist any longer?
Kudos: 2





	Brotherhood and Attachment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newly raised to the ranks of the Jedi Knights, Tarr Sajad's life is thrown into chaos by the onset of war on a galactic scale.

The room was dark.

Padawan Tarr Sajad stood in the center of the room, waiting patiently with his arms clasped behind his back. He knew what was coming. He was ready for it. He had been ready for it for years.

With the distinctive _hiss snap_ attributed to all such weapons, twelve lightsabers came to life. Five blue blades, six green blades, and one purple blade lit the room up in a circle around him. Eleven of the twelve men and women around him were hooded, but their faces could be seen in the lights of their blades. He knew all of them by name and face at least, and one he knew better than any of the others: Jedi Master Tera Sinube, the Cosian Jedi whose training had brought him to this point. Not Tarr's _first_ master, but certainly his last. He could feel the aged master's pride in him, his pale blue lightsaber blade held up before him and standing tall, despite how difficult it must have been for him in his advanced age.

Only one of the jedi in the room was unhooded. Jedi Master Yoda stood upon a pedestal, his lightsaber pointed at the floor. “Step forward Padawan,” he said somberly.

Tarr approached the Grandmaster and knelt before him, head bowed low as tradition dictated. Around him the eleven Jedi lowered their blades to the floor as Yoda raised his up to point to the ceiling.

“Tarr Sajad.” Yoda lowered his blade until it hovered barely an inch above the initiate's shoulder, a potent reminder of the danger inherent in such a powerful weapon. “By the right of the Council,” the ancient Grandmaster lifted the blade and moved it over the tall man's left shoulder, “by the will of the Force,” he transferred the blade back to Tarr's right shoulder, “dub thee I do, Jedi.” Yoda flicked his wrist up and scent of burned hair came to the brown skinned man's nose. “Knight of the Republic.”

Tarr Sajad picked up his severed padawan's braid of black hair and stood tall, no longer a padawan in danger of being sent to the agri corps for his willfulness and disobedience, but a Jedi Knight in full.

******

An hour later Jedi Knight Tarr leaned against the railing on the second floor of the temple, watching his fellow members of the Order come and go below him in the main room of the Jedi temple, casually spinning his deactivated lightsaber in the air next to him, a way to practice manipulating the force his first master had taught to him. Tarr closed his bright blue eyes and sighed, remembering his first master's kind face. "I wish you could have been here to see this."

"He would be proud of you," Master Sinube said as he hobbled up next to his former apprentice. "So, so proud." The kindly master smiled and put a comradely hand on Tarr's forearm. "I miss him too." 

Tarr smiled sadly. "I do not think he would be impressed by how long it took me to attain this rank. I should have been knighted years ago." 

Sinube nodded. "Perhaps you should have been, or perhaps not. Who can say? But I knew your master, and it took him longer than most to attain the rank of Jedi Knight, though I will admit it didn't take him _quite_ as long as it did you."

Tarr chuckled. "Are you consoling me master, or teasing me?"

"Can I not do both at the same time?"

The two Jedi laughed, watching as a padawan and master browsed the jedi archives below them. "I know I was not easy to train. I am sorry I was so difficult with you."

Master Tera shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. You were in mourning and needed time to accept your master's death. Time I was willing to give you where others were not." 

Tarr nodded. The death of his master had been a hard blow for him, and he had frustrated many of the knights and masters who had tried to take him with his staunch unwillingness to learn. Had it not been for Tera Sinube volunteering to take him under his wing, Tarr was sure he would have been assigned to the agri corps. While those that served there performed an invaluable service to the galaxy as a whole, few Jedi saw it as anything other than a failure on their part. 

"He is still with us in the force," Tarr said as a group of younglings guided by the Chief Librarian walked past. The children watched as his lightsaber hilt spun in the air, and with a grin and the flick of a wrist the Jedi Knight launched it high into the air. The saber hilt flashed in the light of the temple as it spun through the air and arced back down towards Tarr. Without looking he caught it with casual ease, a maneuver that had taken him more time than he'd ever admit to master, and hooked it to his belt directly opposite of his second saber. The younglings cheered, but Jocasta Nu was giving him a stern stare he was very familiar with. "Er, don't try that yourself kids," he said to the younglings, remembering the number of times he'd come close to severely injuring himself while trying to perfect his little trick. "Not until you're older, at least." 

Jocasta's hard stare melted, and she smiled. "Kindly avoid destroying any of archives with your antics please, young Sajad." 

Tarr bowed slightly to the Jedi Master. "Of course ma'am. I'll show the utmost caution." 

The Chief Librarian led the younglings away and Sinube chuckled. "It is hard to believe any of us were ever that young." 

"It is," Tarr agreed as he leaned his back against the railing. The little younglings reminded him of another person from his past, and that memory hurt more than even his master's death. 

Sajad could feel Sinube studying him carefully. Had he asked, the Sjaran born Jedi would have simply told him that he was reminiscing on his master's death. It was true, but only partly, and he didn't like to lie to the old Cosian. "So... what will you do now without me constantly getting under your feet?" he asked, trying to steer his thoughts and the conversation in a different direction. 

"Hm... I'll go back to monitoring the Coruscant underworld. Someone needs to keep an eye on the underbelly, and at my age I'm not up for lengthy jaunts in space." The old Jedi leaned against the railing with his former apprentice, the two basking in the serenity of the temple. "And you?"

"I don't know. I'm sure something will come up though. There's always people in need in the galaxy, or pirates that..." Tarr looked past Sinube towards the man striding towards them at a brisk pace. Mace Windu was looking right at Tarr, leaving no doubt that he was coming to talk to him. Even if he hadn't been able to sense emotions in the force Tarr could have told that something was wrong. The Jedi Master's face was creased with worry. Mace Windu was not known for being _worried_ very often. "Master, what's wrong?"

"There's been an incident. I'm gathering as many Jedi Knights as I can to form a strike force." 

A _s_ trike force? Jedi typically operated alone or in small groups. It was rare for more than five or six Jedi to be gathered for any mission. For a full on _strike force_ to be necessary... "I'll report to the hangar."

He looked to Tera Sinube. The old master smiled and waved his. "Go on, you can tell me all about it when you get back. I'm sure I'll still be here." 

Tarr followed Mace as he marched towards the hangar. "What's happened? Is it the Separatists?" 

"Yes. They've taken Obi-wan Kenobi and his apprentice Anakin Skywalker prisoner, along with Senator Padme Amidala." 

"Senator Padme? I thought she was safe on Naboo."

"As did I. Clearly that is not the case. I will explain more en route, but we must move fast. The Separatists may intend to execute them. If that happens, war will be inevitable." 

Tarr broke off and ran to the hangar. B-17, his atstromech droid, was running regular maintenance on his star fighter. The astromech was an older model, but she could keep up with even the latest model of astromechs. 17's chassis was painted with blue and pink stripes which Tarr did his best to keep touched up. As he approached she spun her head around to look at him, then twittered and squawked grumpily. 

"I know, I know. I promise I'll get it fixed, but I need you spin up the engines. We have to go," he said as he leapt on top of his Delta-7B Interceptor. The ship had yellow stripes running down it's length that radiated out from the nose of the vessel, for which the vessel had affectionately been named the _Sunburst._ It had originally belonged to his first master, and still bore many of the marks of that ownership. 

Tarr leapt into the cockpit and pulled the cockpit bubble down as B-17 squeaked a question at him, settling into her slot on the ship. "Two Jedi and a senator have been taken hostage by the Separatists. Master Windu is gathering as many Jedi Knights as he can to stage a rescue." 

Tarr glanced down and realized he was still carrying his severed Padawan's braid. He popped open a small compartment where he kept little souvenirs and deposited in there. More Jedi were rushing into the hangar and leaping into their own Deltas. Tarr was one of the first out of the hangar, engine howling as he ascended into the upper atmosphere and then into orbit with his fellow knights. He wondered what the people of Coruscant must be thinking, seeing this many Jedi starfighters leaving the temple at once. Ships came and went from the temple all the time, but so many leaving at once would undoubtedly draw attention.

Around him Jedi starfighters, fifty at least, made their way to their hyperspace rings. Tarr settled into his, the clamps locking down around his vessel as B-17 connected the ring to his vessel's flight system. "17, program the hyperspace coordinates for Geonosis." The astromech chirped a question. "Yes, Geonosis. I'm sure Master Windu will satisfy your curiousity." 

As though on cue the _Sunburst's_ comm came to life with the Jedi Master's voice. "All Jedi Knights listen closely, I'll only say this once. Jedi Knight Obi-wan Kenobi, his padawan Anakin, and senator Padme Amidala have been taken hostage by the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Kenobi was sent to investigate an attempt on the Senator's life while his apprentice was tasked with protecting her. His investigation led him to the planet of Geonosis, where he was taken prisoner. Before being captured Kenobi managed to get out a distress signal, which led his padawan and the senator to attempt a rescue. Now all three are the prisoner of the Separatists."

"Have we not tried to negotiate for their freedom?" another Jedi asked.

"All attempts at communication have been rebuffed by the separatists. It is clear they are not interested in talking." Mace Windu was silent for a few moments. "During his investigation Master Kenobi discovered that the Geonosians were using their droid foundries to develop a massive army for the CIS. We must shut down these foundries and ensure this army is not allowed to leave the planet. We also have it on good authority that high ranking members of the Separatist government are currently on Geonosis. If we can capture them we can use the leverage to encourage separatist elements to return to the Republic's fold." 

"Master, how many Jedi are joining this strike force?' asked Tarr. Rescuing three prisoners, taking their own prisoners, and shutting down an entire droid army... that was a tall order.

"We have over two hundred Jedi Knights, masters, and their padawans converging on Geonosis. Along with... additional reinforcements."

"What kind of reinforcements? Even more Jedi?"

"Yes, but there are others I cannot talk about over comms for security reasons. Master Yoda is currently en route to gather these reinforcements. However I doubt we will need their assistance. The presence of over two hundred Jedi will convince the Separatists to stand down." 

Tarr Sajad leaned back in his pilot's chair and sighed as the comm went dead. Two hundred Jedi was a considerable show of force, perhaps the largest since the Ruusan reformation was implemented. But would it really be enough? And who were these reinforcements that Windu had alluded to? The Republic didn't have a standing army. 

"I've got a bad feeling about this," he muttered as his ship jumped into hyperspace. 

*****

Tarr Sajad pressed himself against the tunnel wall as he advanced alongside ten other Jedi, hands resting on his lightsabers. "I don't like this," he muttered to the Zabrak beside him. 

"We've gotten this far without being spotted," Kuna Lergo said confidently. "We'll be on top of the Geonosians before they know what's happened." Tarr and Kuna had been friends since they were younglings. They had done nearly everything together until they'd been assigned to their masters. They'd only seen each other sporadically since, but their friendship had remained strong despite that. The Zabrak was one of the most accomplished practitioners of the second form of lightsaber combat, Makashi, in the Jedi order whereas Tarr favored the Jar'kai tactic, being one of the few Jedi to actually focus on fighting with two blades rather than one. Using the Jar'kai tactic, Tarr was highly adept with Niman, and had trained to fight in form three, Soresu, with his twin blades to create a larger and more effective protective barrier between him and any opponents with a blaster. 

"That's what worries me. There's over two hundred Jedi infiltrating this arena, and not one of us has been discovered? This feels like a trap Kuna." 

"If they think they can ambush this many Jedi, then they are going to be very disappointed." 

"I hope you're right." Tarr glanced behind them at his friend's padawan. "And what do you think Oom?"

Oom, Kuna's Twi'lek padawan, gulped. "We will be alright so long as we trust in the force." She clutched her lightsaber tightly in both hands.

Kuna patted her on the head between her lekku. "That's right Oom. Trust in the force, and all will be as it should be." He looked at Tarr pointedly. "A lesson I see you still haven't taken to heart my friend." 

"Oh I trust the force master jedi," the tall human drew his lightsabers from his belt, fingers hovering over their triggers as he watched the exit of the tunnel into the arena proper draw ever closer. "But Master Narec taught me to trust my instincts too, and they are _screaming_ right now Kuna. We should pull back and wait for Windu's reinforcements."

Kuna was silent for a few moments, a thoughtful look on his face. "Even if you are right, it's too late. almost everyone is in position and if we wait any longer we'll lose the very people we came to save." He smiled and placed a hand on Tarr's broad shoulder. "Trust in the force. You are a Jedi Knight now. The council would not have finally granted you that title you if they thought you were not ready for the challenges the galaxy has in store for you." 

Tarr took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right, I suppose. Thank you for setting me at ease friend." 

"Always Tarr. After all, someone has to keep you focused." The bald Zabrak grinned cheekily. He moved ahead of the others to the lip of the tunnel and glanced out cautiously, first left then right. "It's clear. Come on." 

The ten Jedi quietly filed out of the tunnel, lightsabers in hand. They pressed themselves against the wall, watching and waiting for the signal to show themselves. 

Out in the open like this the Geonosians should have seen them, but it seemed as though they were focused on the events transpiring in the arena. 

The three prisoners had escaped. Padme, Anakin, and Obi-wan were on the back of a large beast, but they were unarmed and surrounded by droids. Kuna had been right. If they waited, the three of them would likely be dead. The brown skinned man gazed across the coliseum and whistled low. "That... is a lot of Geonosians." 

"They'll run as soon as they realize we're here," Kuna assured him. He looked up at the balcony at the very top of the arena. "Oh blast."

Tarr followed his gaze and caught sight of what his friend had seen. "Damn," he sighed, "Dooku really is here. Do you think he'll try to fight?"

"I doubt it. He's probably the best duelist alive, but he can't defeat us all. Even if we were foolish enough to take him on one on one in turn."

"I suppose you're right." His gaze fell back down to the arena floor. "Where is Master Windu? We have to move quickly or this will have all been for nothing." 

"He'll show himself soon, I'm- wait, there!" Kuna pointed back up at the balcony. "He's activated his lightsaber! That's the signal!"

All across the arena Jedi drew and activated their lightsabers. Over two hundred blue, green, and even yellow blades of light ignited, announcing the presence of the Republic's defenders. Tarr drew his lightsabers and triggered then, the twin yellow blades coming to life with a distinct crackling _snap_ of unleashed energy. Kuna leapt up onto the wall separating spectators from a long fall as Geonosians flew into the air or scrambled into the tunnels leading out of the arena. None of them so much as spit at a Jedi as they passed. "Come on!" The Zabrak Knight shouted, pointing the blue blade of his saber down at the arena floor. "We have to get down there!" He leapt off of the wall, Tarr, Oom and the other seven Jedi close behind him. They slowed their fall with the Force, landing easily. They began to move towards the three prisoners and the droids surrounding them. "See Tarr? They didn't even try to fight us." 

Tarr nearly agreed. Then he saw what was coming out of the tunnels. "Oh kriff, I think I know why. Droids!" 

Hundreds of battle droids came pouring out into the arena floor from every tunnel, firing as they ran. More and more Jedi were leaping into the fray, others were engaging more droids on the upper levels. "I don't think our show of force has impressed them Kuna!" The Jedi charged towards the droids, deflecting a deluge of blaster bolts as they closed to melee with the battle mechs. Tarr ducked one shot and deflected two more as he leapt into the air, weaving a net to catch and deflect incoming fire as he fell into the midst of the army before him. He cut down two droids as he landed and came up in the Rising Whirlwind carving through the droids around him as he formed a defensive net about himself. He moved through the droid ranks, never slowing or stopping as he let his senses sink into the force, knowing where the shots would come from before they were fired and reflecting them back at the droids. 

All around him Jedi fought, their lightsabers cutting through even the heaviest droid's armor. Tarr ducked under a shot and slid his blade through a larger silver droid's torso and spun on his heel to cut down with a Twin Strike on another, carving it into three separate pieces before darting off to another area of the fight, cutting down any droid or Geonosian that got in his way. It was like Rattatak all over again, only even more chaotic and deadly. Droids and Jedi were everywhere, and while any Jedi could cut down a few battle droids, the sheer number against them was beginning to tell. Jedi were being surrounded and gunned down, unable to deflect so many shots at once. Only those who kept moving and didn't let themselves get bogged down like Tarr were avoiding death, and then only narrowly. _"I have to find Windu and convince him to call a retreat. We never should have attacked like this."_ Tarr tried to find the Master's distinctive purple lightsaber, but the chaos and constantly having to deflect shots fired at him made it impossible to pick out anything further than ten feet away. He tried to feel him in the Force, but there was just _too much_. Fear, anger, pain, grief, confusion, it all washed over him in a tidal wave and nearly got him killed as the strain of so many emotions at once blurred his vision and made him stumble. He forced his mind to block out the emotions washing over him from his fellows, forming a wall of concentrated will to protect himself from overload. 

A shockwave of raw sound knocked him to the ground. He rolled to the side just as a Geonosian stabbed down with a spear where he'd been and cut the alien in half as he surged to his feet, looking for the source of the blast. 

A massive stationary cannon had been set up on the arena floor. It fired indiscriminately into the melee, a wall of sonic power blasting Jedi and droids alike into the air, their pulverized remains crumpling as they hit the ground. Tarr sprinted towards it dodging or blocking incoming fire as he made for the cannon. It's operator saw him and turned to blast him. At the last moment Tarr leapt into the air over the blast and guided his fall directly towards the sonic cannon. He landed next to it, lashing out with a Twin Strike that cut down cannon and operator alike. he pressed his back against the ruined weapon for cover as he examined the battle field. 

They were losing badly. The droids had taken them completely off guard, and none of them had been prepared for this level of opposition. Most of the Jedi were circling up in the center of the arena. Those that weren't were being surrounded and gunned down from all sides. 

Tarr saw a familiar figure kneeling in the sand of the arena, her head bowed. Oom was hunched over, but she was clearly moving. By sheer luck or the will of the force she hadn't been hit yet. But where was Kuna? He would have never have left his padawan alone in a place like this. 

Then Tarr saw the crumpled form the padawan was kneeling next to, and he knew what had happened. 

"Oh no." Tarr darted out from cover, fighting his way to Oom as she shook the lifeless body of Jedi Knight Kuna Lergo, his eyes glassy and unseeing. 

"Master!" she screamed as she shook him futilely. "Get up _get up!_ We have to move but I can't carry you! I- I can't..." The padawan burst into tears as she clutched his body, her lightsaber laying forgotten next to her. She didn't register the five droids approaching her with their blasters raised. 

Tarr ran faster than he'd ever run before, tapping into the force to increase his speed as he threw himself at the droids. He body slammed into the middle one and drove it to the ground as he cut down the other four. He cut off the prone droid's head and ran over to the Twi'lek girl. Her green skin was caked in sand and dust, and a part of Tarr's mind realized he had to look just as bad. "Oom! Come on we have to go!" he sheathed one of his blades and took her by the arm, but she pulled against him, still clinging to Kuna. 

"Master Kuna's hurt! I won't leave him!" 

There was no time to reason with her. Tarr grabbed her lightsaber in his free hand and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her away from Kuna's corpse. The Zabrak's body was covered in smoking holes, telling Tarr all he needed to know. Kuna had been an exceptional duelist, but it had come at the cost of his ability to engage and defeat multiple foes at once. "He's dead Oom! He's dead." The Sjaran barely deflected two shots as he struggled to hold on to Oom. "We can't help him, but if we don' t go we will die too, and I know your master would want you to live." 

Oom wailed and for a dreadful moment Tarr thought she'd been hit, but it was a cry of emotional pain, not physical. She curled against his chest and sobbed into his shoulder, letting him carry her as he walked backwards to the circle of Jedi in the center of the arena. The Jedi Knight looked at his fallen brother's body one last time as he retreated before the droids closing in on him. "I'm sorry old friend. I swear I'll keep her safe." Oom wasn't easy to carry, but Sjarans were a large and strong breed of human, and Tarr managed to carry her as he fought his way into the circle of Jedi.

A Jedi ran up to him. Tarr recognized Kenobi easily enough. "Is she hurt?!" he asked, shouting to be heard over the fighting. 

"Not physically, but she's in no condition to fight! Keep her in the center of the ring and protect her!" Tarr set Oom on the ground and placed her lightsaber next to her. "You're going to be okay little one. I promise I will get you out of this." He looked up at Kenobi. "I'm going back for more." He leapt up and charged back into the droid mass before anyone could stop him. In a battle like this Rising Whirlwind was a life saver. The move was designed for creating an area of protection all around the fighter within which no enemy could enter without being cut apart, and it allowed Tarr to move through the droids more safely than nearly any other Jedi. 

He saw one Jedi woman engaged with a sizable group of battle droids. She was shouting something as she reflected blaster bolts away from herself and back at the droids, but Tarr couldn't make out what. He ran into the back of the droids and started cutting, tearing his way through them to the woman. She was an older Ithorian woman wielding a green lightsaber. "<Neema! Neema! Where are you?>" She was shouting frantically in her people's native tongue, spinning around as she searched for any sign of Neema.

Tarr ran up to her. "Come on, we have to join up with the others before we're cut off!" 

"<I'm not going anywhere until I find my Padawan!>"

"Your padawan is probably already with the others and looking for you! _Come on_!" Tarr doubted he'd be able to pick up and carry this woman like he had Oom. He had to make her follow him of her own volition. 

The Ithorian stood still, frozen by indecision for a spilt second. It was a split second too long. A bolt struck her in the thigh and she collapsed with a shout. Tarr cursed a blue streak and sheathed one of his lightsabers to grab the Knight by her tunic collar, dragging her in his wake as he backed up, desperately deflecting shots as the droids began to focus their fire on him. The Ithorian still had her lightsaber out and was doing her best to deflect what she could, but wounded and laying prone there was only so much she could do. 

A figure leapt in front of them, blue blade in hand. Ki adi Mundi shielded Tarr and his wounded comrade as they backed up. "Get Wata Lis back to the others, I'll cover you!" the Jedi master shouted over his shoulder. Tarr sheathed his other lightsaber and picked up the Ithorian, Wata Lis, and slung her over his shoulder, running back to the others. Adrenaline and the Force gave him the strength he needed to carry her while running as fast as he could, but Ithorians were _heavy._

Tarr skidded to a halt inside the ring and set her down next to Oom. Kenobi stood over the padawan, shielding her with his body and lightsaber. Without looking the Jedi Knight shifted his stance to shield the Ithorian too. Tarr looked up and saw Ki adi Mundi staring back at him. The two Jedi nodded in silent agreement and charged back into the fray side by side to rescue more of their fellows. 

Tarr and Ki adi battled their way through the droids towards a master and apprentice fighting back to back as droids poured overwhelming firepower onto them. The apprentice fell first and the master followed soon after. The droids kept shooting, ensuring they were dead. Snarling, Tarr threw himself at the droids alongside the Jedi Master, the two of them cutting down what seemed like hundreds of droids even though it couldn't have truly been so many. They stood back to back over the fallen master and apprentice, unconsciously mirroring their last stand. 

"I don't think we're going to make it back to the others," Ki adi said with forced calm. 

"Probably not," Tarr agreed as he reflected a shot back at the droid that fired it. "I doubt it would matter if we did though." There were just too many droids. The Jedi were completely outmatched. The few left standing wouldn't last much longer than a few more minutes, and the sheer mass of droids still pouring from the tunnels would make any attempt to escape impossible. "I don't think any of us are making it out of this." He thought of Oom, his promise to her and her master that he would get her out of this. _'I'm sorry Kuna. I hope you can forgive me for failing to protect her.'_

Then the droids stopped firing. 

As one they lowered their weapons and halted, completely silent. Tarr and Ki adi looked at each other, then at the droids. 

"Master Windu!" 

Tarr looked up and saw Count Dooku staring down at all of them from his balcony, flanked by two of the larger battle droids and his separatist cronies. 

"You have fought gallantly. Worthy of recognition in the archives of the Jedi Order." 

Droids advanced on Ki adi and Tarr, weapons aimed but not firing. The two Jedi backed up cautiously, joining the circle of Jedi along with the few other knights outside of the ring who still lived. Tarr moved to stand over Oom and Wata Lis with Kenobi, his yellow sabers raised defensively.

"But now... it is finished," Dooku continued. "Surrender, and your lives will be spared."

"We will _not_ be hostages to be bartered Dooku," Windu said defiantly. 

"Then I am sorry old friend." 

The droids raised their weapons. Tarr raised his lightsabers, prepared to give his life to protect Kuna's padawan. She whimpered behind him.

In that moment, Tarr hated Windu for not accepting Dooku's offer. 

"Look!" 

The world came alive with blaster fire, but not from the droids. Fire rained down from above onto the droids as a strange warbling noise filled the arena. Tarr looked up as three large ships swooped into the arena, firing forward mounted laser cannons into the droids as they circled the arena floor, forming a cordon around the surviving Jedi. Glass bubbles attached to the ships spat lines of fire that bisected whole groups of droids in seconds. Side hatches slid open and men in white armor and carrying long blaster rifles jumped out and began firing into the droids. The droids returned fire and Tarr's focus returned to protecting himself and his two charges. Two of the men in white ran to either side of him, firing into the droids. 

Windu's reinforcements had finally arrived.

"Get these two aboard your ship," Tarr shouted to the two men. "I'll cover you!" They obeyed immediately, slinging their rifles over their shoulders and picking up the two Jedi. Tarr made sure to keep himself between them and enemy fire, hastily deflecting blast after blast. 

"The wounded are aboard sir," one of the men said. One of the men stepped off of the vessel and began firing. "I'll cover you sir!"

A blast hit the man square in the chest and knocked him to the ground, blackening the chestplate of his armor. Tarr sheathed a blade and scooped the man up, depositing him onto the floor of the ship, then hopped on. "Get us out of here!" He shouted to the pilot. The craft lifted up into the air with the other two, leaving the arena behind. 

Tarr looked at the men around him. Their armor completely hid their features, making it impossible to tell them apart that way. But they all felt different in the force, although there was something about them that was... _alike_. Tarr couldn't quite place what it was. "Who are all of you?"

One of the men saluted smartly. "Sir, we are soldiers of the GAR: The Grand Army of the Republic. We are at your command General."

" _General_?! I'm a Jedi, not a general! And what in the Force's name is the Grand Army of the Republic? The Republic hasn't had standing military in over a thousand years."

"It has one now sir. We've trained all our lives to protect the Republic from her enemies, and we will gladly die doing our duty." 

"Well I'd prefer it if you lived trooper. What's your name?"

"Sir, I am CT-5108/8843."

Tarr stared at him. He could feel the trooper beginning to grow uncomfortable under his gaze. "That's your _name_?"

"It is the serial number that was assigned to me at birth sir."

 _At birth._ That raised a number of questions that Tarr didn't want to get into quite yet. "Well do you have anything else you're called? A nickname?"

"My... brothers call me Corr, sir." 

"Corr it is then. Trooper Corr, can you tell me exactly what the kriff is happening?"

"Yes sir. We were deployed to aid the Jedi in their assault on the droid foundries of Geonosis. The majority of our forces have been deployed north of here on the open field that the separatists are using as a docking station for their Core Ships and are engaging the enemy now."

"How many of your are there?"

"I am unsure of the exact number of troopers deployed sir. That would be a question that high command or logistics can answer. However as far as I am aware there are well over one hundred thousand of us deployed on the surface." 

_Over a hundred thousand._

The number was... unbelievable. There were probably at most ten thousand Jedi in all the galaxy. Where had this army come from? Who had commissioned it and why? Had they seen this war coming? "Are we going to the site of the primary battle Corr?"

"Yes General. You will be assigned your battalion and command there."

"I... I see." He looked back at Wata Lis and Oom. One of the troopers was tending to the Ithorian's leg while another was stripping away the armor of the wounded man to treat his wound. "Is there a place to tend to the wounded?"

"Yes sir." 

"take us there first then." The gunship diverted its course towards one of the large triangular ships in the distance. There weren't many wounded right now, but Tarr didn't doubt that by the end of today the med center would be overflowing with. Offloading the two Jedi and trooper took a matter of seconds. Before Oom was taken away to be treated for battlefield shock Tarr took her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm going to come back for you, alright?" She didn't say anything, but she squeezed his hand back, which he took as a good sign.

The gunship lifted back off and headed towards an assembly area. There a clone trooper with yellow markings on his armor was waiting, cradling his blaster. As soon as Tarr disembarked he approached him and saluted. "Sir, I am CT 49-"

"I want your name trooper, not your number." 

The soldier paused, clearly surprised. "My... brothers call me Tork, sir." 

He nodded. "Alright then Tork. How can I help you?'

"Sir, my battalion, the 481st, is still in need of a Jedi General."

"Well I guess I'm your man then, because I don't have a battalion yet. Who's in command of it?"

"You are sir. However if you mean who is your second in command, that would be me. I am the commander of the 481st."

"Take me to the battalion then Commander Tork." 

The two boarded a new gunship which flew them down the length of the battle line. Tarr watched as tens of thousands of men advanced towards a massive army of droids across the open plain, both sides trading blaster fire as Jedi led the charge into the enemy. He could feel the emotions of the men below, their anxiety and fear, their eagerness to perform well, their faith, their... naivety. There was something childlike about them, this sense of honesty and purity that was at odds with the clearly full grown men he saw before him. And they were willingly running into the teeth of a massive engagement at the order of Jedi who until today had never seen any kind of battle on this scale. Jedi who had just experienced first hand the folly of charging headlong into the enemy with no plan.

"This is ridiculous."

"Is something wrong General?"

"What would you do in this situation Commander?"

"I... do not understand the question General."

"If you were in overall command of this army, if you could decide its battleplan, what would you do? How would you go about organizing your forces to fight the enemy before you?"

Tork stood there silently, staring down at the battle below them. Tarr could feel that he wanted to answer the question, but that he was also nervous about giving the wrong answer or upsetting Tarr. "Speak your mind Commander. If you're going to be my second in command then I want you to be open with me."

"Yes sir. I... would not advance. I would establish a defensive line and force the enemy to come to me, using my artillery and air power to destroy the enemy's transport ships while minimizing my own casualties." 

Tarr nodded. "Is it too late do to that at this point? We could get in contact with Master Windu or Yoda and suggest it to them. I'll take the plan as my own if that will make you feel more comfortable."

"I do not think that such a plan would be feasible at this point General. We've already advanced well beyond our defensive works. At this point trying to retreat or holding our position would likely get more men killed than it would save."

Tarr set his jaw and nodded. "Then we will do what we can." 

The gunship landed behind a mass of white armored bodies preparing to advance. Four men, their armor marked with blue stripes, were waiting for Tarr and Tork. They saluted to Tarr as one and kept their arms up until Tarr realized he was supposed to salute back and did so. "I'm going to assume you are all officers in the 481st, correct?"

"yes sir," Commander Tork said. "These are the battalion captains. Each commands one of the four companies that makes up the 481st. Captain Vinor, Captain Creed, Captain Fi, and Captain Sor." 

Tarr nodded to each of them in turn. "Gentlemen, I want to make one thing clear. I was as many of our men as possible getting out of this alive. I've seen too many people die today and I have no intentions of losing any more. Understood?" 

"Sir yes sir!" the five men said in unison. 

"Good. We'll be advancing with the rest of the army. Tork, I want you behind me at all times. I need you to relay any important information to me as the situation develops. The rest of you, see to your companies."

The four captains hurried off to their men as Tork and Tarr made their way to the front of the battalion. Behind them more gunships were depositing their passengers, only these were carrying massive six legged walkers instead of infantry men. "What are we up against Commander?"

"According to intel the enemy is fielding a large infantry force supported by armor elements. The enemy's air support seems very limited."

"What exactly is armor?"

"Vehicles, sir. The separatists seem to be fielding two primary variants: the Hailfire class droid tank and the OG-9 Homing Spider Droid."

"How dangerous are they?"

"I would assume very sir, but I do not have any experience fighting them."

"Have our vehicles focus on taking them out then. We'll deal with the infantry ourselves." 

"Yes sir." Tork began relaying orders over his helmet's commlink as they reached the front of the advancing line. 

Tarr took a deep breath and let it out. This was all threatening to overwhelm him. The Sjaran Jedi had always been particularly sensitive to other people's emotions. While he could detect someone's true thoughts and feelings better than many other force sensitives, it made it harder to block those emotions out and focus amidst the turmoil of life. Here, on a battlefield, it was even harder. His mental wall was being assailed from all sides by an endless barrage of powerful emotions. 

_"There is no emotion, there is peace."_ Tarr recited the first line of the Jedi code in his mind over and over, using it as a focus and reinforcement for his mental shield. He ignited his lightsabers, the yellow blades extending with their crackling _snaps_ of energy, and prepared to meet the enemy. 

The first shot fired at him Tarr reflected back at the droid that fired it. The second and third flew into the air. It quickly became impossible to distinguish which shots came from where and Tarr simply reacted, reflecting as many back into the enemy ranks as he could and directing the rest at the ground or into the air. "Stay behind me Tork!" he shouted over his shoulder. 

"Yes sir!" the trooper responded diligently, one hand pressed to the side of his helmet. A part of Tarr not currently trying to avoid getting shot wondered if that actually helped him hear transmissions better, or if it were merely an instinctive action. 

All around the Jedi blaster fire flew back and forth, blue and red bolts doling out death as troopers and droids drew ever closer to one another. Fighters fell on both sides, the droids marching on which the unfeeling lack of emotion characteristic of their kind while the white clad troopers doggedly advanced despite a lack of protection, their brothers in arms falling beside them as the fire intensified as the distance between the two armies shortened. Tarr grit his teeth and kept advancing with his men, the weight pressing against his mind growing heavier with each death and wound. 

_"There is no emotion, there is peace."_

So many dead.

_"There is no emotion, there is peace."_

He could feel their pain, how badly it hurt.

_"There is no emotion, there is... peace."_

The burning agony of a blaster wound, the dull pain of a missing limb.

_"There... there is no emotion. There is p-peace."_

The mourning of men forced to march over the dead bodies of their brothers, their _family._

_"Th-there is no e-emotion... there is... there is..."_

A missile came ripping out of enemy lines and scored a direct hit on one of the six legged walkers. It exploded, the shockwave flattening those men closest to it as white hot shrapnel punched through armor and body suits, killing many and wounding more. He could feel the lives of the men in the tank slip away. He heard the last two scream in his mind as the flames cooked them alive.

Tarr's lightsabers slipped out of his hands and deactivated. He collapsed to his hands and knees coughing and retching. His vision blurred and ears began to ring as the emotions overcame his defenses. He couldn't block it out anymore. It was too much, too loud, too _intense_. It was overwhelming him, consuming him. It felt like his mind was about to crumble under the pressure of so much suffering.

And then he remembered the first lesson Master Narec had ever taught him, the lesson that his later masters had tried to make him forget because they had viewed it as a path to the Dark Side.

_"Don't try to fight it. It's overwhelming you because you're trying to resist it."_

_"But it's so loud."_

_"Of course it's loud. People are loud. They're very very loud. But it isn't like hearing them. You can't put on a pair of sound dampers and block them out. You can't make yourself deaf to the voices of people's thoughts, not really. When you do that you're just pretending you don't hear it. But eventually it will be too loud and you'll have to hear them. At that point you'll have a choice. You can run away from it and try to hide until it gets quiet again, but you'll only ever be delaying the inevitable, and in time you may find yourself in a place you can't run away from. Or you can immerse yourself in it. Accept the emotions and let them wash over you like the waves of an ocean. Only then will you know if you'll sink in the waters of life, or swim to the top."_

_"So what will it be Tarr Sajad? Will you sink, or will you swim?"_

Tarr chose to swim.

With a gasp the Jedi's eyes opened and he realized he was laying on his back in the sands of Geonosis. He could still feel and hear the emotions of the men around him, but he didn't try to block them out. He accepted them, let them wash over him, and immersed himself in it. He felt their fear and anger, he felt their confusion and hesitance. But he also felt their sense of pride and duty, their drive to fight and to win no matter the odds set against them. He felt their strong bond of brotherhood, unbreakable and unyielding.

"- wounded! I repeat, Jedi General Tarr Sajad is wounded! I need an immediate medivac, priority one!" Commander Tork was laying on top of his general, using his own body to shield Tarr’s from harm. Clones were gathered around them firing into the enemy, protecting their commanders. 

Tarr placed a hand on Tork’s shoulder. “I’m fine commander.”

He pushed himself up and his second in command got off of him. "Sir you've been wounded. I know that you may feel fine, but adrenaline can-"

"I'm fine Commander, I promise." He felt something warm trickling down his lip and wiped his hand across his mouth. It came away wet and crimson. He'd been bleeding from the nose. "Jedi can sense emotion. I feel them more strongly than most, and was momentarily overwhelmed. I'll be alright." 

He could feel Tork balancing on a knife's edge between obedience and a need to ensure his general's safety. "Sir, I still think it would be wise for you to withdraw to the rear line. You can still command from the back."

Tarr shook his head and summoned his lightsabers into his hands. "I'll not send any man into danger that I wouldn't go into myself Commander. I will lead from the front or not at all. Now all of you, behind me. Cover my sides and I'll divert fire from the front." The troopers obeyed, moving into position behind Tarr as he ignited his lightsabers. He weaved a net of light before himself as he advanced, catching and repelling every shot fired in his direction, his twin blades providing a large diameter of defense those troopers close to him could shelter behind. He felt their relief that he was safe, and their confidence in him. _'They think I'm invincible. If only they'd seen what had happened in the arena.'_ "Give me a status report Commander." 

"Separatist forces are withdrawing all across the battlefield. They seem to be in full retreat. Our artillery is focusing on bringing down their transport ships. Separatist leader Dooku is in full retreat and being pursued by two Jedi Knights with the intent to capture him." 

"What about our losses?"

"Hard to say sir. We'll know more once the battle is ended." 

Tarr already knew they would be heavy. He could feel men dying in the force, their pain fading as their lives ended. He looked up into the sky as a core ship began to take off. It's hull was being shredded apart by concentrated artillery fire, beams of blue light carving through it like a lightsaber through plastoid.

His eyes widened when he realized the ship was losing power. "Everyone take cover!" he bellowed. The ship impacted with the surface. A shockwave of dust spread out rapidly from the point of impact, engulfing the battlefield in an artificial sandstorm. 

The battle raged on regardless. It would rage for what felt like an eternity to Tarr Sajad, before the Separatists completely withdrew from the surface of the planet and scattered into the galaxy. 

*****

Jedi General Tarr Sajad stood with his commander and four captains. The battle was over. The separatists had fully retreated off world, ceding the battlefield to the Republic. At least one core ship was down along with several smaller Hardcell-class transports, their massive cargo of battle droids reduced to scrap. And yet despite all that it didn't feel like a victory. Many soldiers and Jedi had lost their lives in the fighting and many more were badly wounded. His own battalion had suffered twenty five percent losses. Far fewer than many other battalions, but it was still far too many for the Jedi Knight. When one looked at it objectively it meant that seventy five percent of the battalion was still in fighting shape. Realistically however it meant that over a hundred men had lost their lives or were badly wounded, in some cases so badly they would never fight again. 

"Commander, do you know where we're off to now?" He asked Tork, staring at a holo-map of the battlefield they'd just left. The battalion was back on the landing field they'd disembarked from their ships when they'd made planetfall. Now they were boarding the vessels to return to space and be shipped off Force knew where. 

"Orders are to rendezvous with the rest of the army on Coruscant. From there we will be assigned our theatre of war and sent out to engage Separatist forces."

"So it really is war then," Tarr said with a sigh. Dooku had escaped capture, as had the rest of the high ranking CIS leaders on Geonosis. Had the Republic managed to capture at least one it was possible they could have used them as a bargaining chip. Now open war was inevitable. The Republic had won the first battle, but it had come at a high cost and made something very clear: the Jedi were not ready to lead soldiers into battle.

"Gentlemen, I will be frank with all of you." Tarr looked at his officers. "I am not ready to be your general. I know you all look to me for leadership, I know you were trained to follow my orders, and I will do my best to be the leader that you all deserve, but until today I've never led anyone into battle. I do not have even the theoretical knowledge necessary for holding an officer's rank. Thus I ask all of you to be patient with me. If I give a bad order then point it out to me. Do not hesitate to be open with me, do not hesitate to lecture me if I need it. I will need your guidance in the days to come to be the leader you and the Republic expects me to be. And if I get us all into a situation where the choice is saving my life or the lives of yourselves and your comrades then do not hesitate to choose them over me. _That_ is an order." 

The five officers were silent for several long moments. Tarr could feel their shock and disbelief at his admission in the force. He felt their surety in their belief of the invincibility of Jedi grow weaker. _'Good. They need to know I'm as mortal and prone to failure as they are. I won't lie to them, even if it would be easier to do so.'_

One of the blue marked captains cleared his throat. It was Sor. "Well... that being the case sir, we thank you for your frankness. But I think I speak for the battalion as a whole when I say that your willingness to admit such to us gives us confidence that you will lead us responsibly." 

Another captain, Fi, saluted. "We won't let you down sir, and we're sure you won't let us down either." 

The other three agreed, and Tarr felt their simple honesty in the Force. They weren't lying to make him feel better. They _believed_ in him. He just hoped he would prove worthy of their trust. 

"I have no doubt you all will perform admirably. But I would like to know the faces of the men I'll be serving with. Can you remove your helmets please?"

He felt their surprise at the order, but the five men removed their helmets and tucked them under their arms. 

Tarr realized why the troopers all had a core of similarity in their personalities. Suddenly it was obvious how an army had been gathered from seemingly nowhere to fight for the Republic without anyone noticing people being recruited. Because the army hadn't been recruited. It had been _grown._

_"My... brothers call me Tork, sir."_

"Clones," Tarr Sajad breathed in quiet shock. "You're all clones." 


End file.
